men, pfftt

i'm so sick of guys. what the fuck did i ever do to get this life?

today i'm annoyed because a 'friend' has been texting and i'm annoyed at him only texting when he's bored. it's not like that, we’re not having sex. we've kissed but it was only a drunken snog, it didn’t mean anything. i'm angry because for the last few years he would only get in touch when he broke up with his girlfriend, she didn't like him having friends, let alone a female one. She thought we had history. Yeah, we do, he was one of my boyfriend’s best pals! I asked him to take a cord at the funeral. In the 1st year I wrongly thought I’d be able to talk to him and I’m angry he wasn’t there for me cos we were friends too, and now he gets in touch every so often and I just think “fuck you! What? You’ve split up again?” and then I have to listen to his woes. And I do it cos I’m a fucking idiot. That, and there is a bit more history and I feel like he thinks I like him as more than a friend (which I don’t, I hadn’t had a snog for ages!! ) so when he texts it’s like he’s getting an ego boost and he really needs to get over himself.

Then there’s this guy I liked who gave me his number when my mum died and said if I needed to talk to use it. We got chatting and things were going ok, he liked me too. I started telling friends about this guy I liked and that we were gonna go out when things settled down. Yeah things have settled down, so settled in fact I hardly hear from him. What the actual fuck???? Why give me your number? I just don’t get it? He’s been quiet on social networking too which is where I met him, he said he’d been feeling down so maybe it’s not just me but I’m still thinking “eh?” I mean I’ve met him in person twice on nights out now and there’s chemistry but I’m now so in the dark and it’s doing my head in.

Over the last few years EVERY guy I’ve met has been a dick so what am I doing that I’m attracting them? There’s not been many, but they have been arses. This on the back of being with a guy for 13 years who treated me like shit. So how do I change this? Or ARE all men bastards? Answers on a postcard please!