he's just not that into you

it's sat night, i woke up this morning and couldn't face the day so i stayed in bed till lunchtime, not sleeping, but wishing i could just sleep the day away. my phone had rung several times and i ignored it, didn't want to speak to anyone. It was my brother and i figured he would keep calling if i didn't respond in some way. i texted him and said i wasn't in a good way and that i'd prob be in bed all day. he tried calling again. he then sent a text saying it was a shame cos he was in dunfermline and had something he wanted to drop off.
ok Tina, get up.
he came round for a cuppa and gave me a money pot for my birthday. it's really sweet, a pot of dreams it's called. anyways we had a blether and he went home.
i was still feeling shit.
i'd tried reaching out to some friends but to no avail. i appear to have done something to weird out my best friend cos she's been funny with me all week.
one friend responded but she's going through a hellish time too and i knew she had plans but at least she acknowledged she couldn't be much help.
i had tweeted earlier when i was in bed but couldn't get on twitter so when i later checked i had messages of support from friends on there. funny how people you've never met can give more support than your nearest and dearest.
i haven't showered today and in fact put my pyjamas on when i got up and have been in them all day but i don't care. i've done nothing apart from watch films and tweet. i have eaten nothing but junk today which i realise is a warning sign and my mood is getting worse again so the fight is back on. as if wanting to stay in bed wasn't a loud enough warning bell!
so i watched "He's Just Not That Into You" i'd seen it at the cinema with the girls and really enjoyed it. It's a good film with a lot of interesting points. i've fallen for a lot of the shit that the female lead has fallen for and it makes me wonder why people play so many mind games. i mean why cant we just say "i like you" or "no thanks" it's way worse to be strung along until you're severely pissed off and there's no hope of you ever remaining friends. i think i might watch it periodically whenever i'm watching my phone for texts or checking my e-mail or even when i'm looking out for someone on twitter if that ever leads to the possibility of meeting someone. after watching it i logged into bebo and sent a message to my family saying i'm never on it and that i was deleting my account. so i did, because at one point in the film drew barrymore's character talks about having to check so many things to see if he's been in touch that being let down by so much technology is exhausting. i can relate. so i'm reducing the technology with which i can be disappointed by.
i used to say to guys who asked for my number "i'll be here next week, if you're here then we'll talk" probably bit callous but realistic, i didn't want to give my number out to just anyone. what happened to that girl? I've been used, and my mind has been played with too many times and now i've just about had enough. whenever i feel i'm driving myself crazy with the "will he text?" i'm gonna watch it and remind myself that if he really is that into me then i wouldn't be fretting about it cos he would already be in touch.