Life is a Rollercoaster

My life is a disaster area, I have come to the conclusion that no good can come of it. I would end it, and I’ve tried, but I can’t do it. Not because I’m a coward but because I’ve put my family through enough and I promised them I wouldn’t. Promises are made to be broken though right?

I’ve had my fair share of shit and probably a few other people’s too, at least that’s what it feels like. I’m a government statistic in several aspects of my life but I don’t think of myself as a ‘woe is me’ type of person. I moan, I cry, I scream and I lash out but I usually laugh at myself more than anyone.

I’m writing this to get all the shit in my head out in the vain hope it helps. I’m not really expecting anyone to read it but since it’s out there that’s a possibility. I have this notion that it’d be more private than a journal. Journals are found and read, and even though anyone could read this, it won’t matter because the people I love are unlikely to, and they’re the ones who’d be hurt by it.

Don’t be mistaken, my life isn’t all bad. There’s a lot of good so this isn’t all doom and gloom. What it will be is random. My moods fluctuate and are rollercoaster-tastic so this shit will be all over the place. I’m not writing this so someone reading says “oh I’m so sorry” at the bad stuff. I’m not writing it to get pity. That’s why I’m telling no-one I know about it. I’m just trying to process stuff.

If anything? Kick my ass. I need it.