18/8/15

I don't know where to start. This lonely, sad, excuse for an existence is pathetic. I cut myself today. First time since? I'm back on sleeping tablets. I thought taking them during Gishwhes I'd be able to keep them under control but Gishwhes is over and I'm back to my shitty hopeless life. Avoiding almost everyone and everything. There's no one friend I would burden this with. They wouldn't be pleased to hear that but I've lost friends in the past for no reason so why give them my woes and alienate them? I don't know why I'm still here. I should just do myself in. Isn't that what I'm aiming for? Aren't I doing that anyway? Slowly sure but it's happening. Poisoning my body. Going out of my mind. How much longer can I last?